Pass the Salt and People Please

It's been more than 10 years since I've enjoyed a family-style household and I have not (and probably never will) get used to—dinner for one. There is a great line in the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" where, recently divorced, Frances Mayes' neighbor asks her what she is doing for dinner one night. She shrugs her shoulders in the universal sign for "I don't know." In only the way that Italians can, he invites Frances over for dinner with his family, followed by this pearl of makes-sense-to-me wisdom, "Frances...it's unhealthy to eat alone!"

In my experience, one of our best human-quality rituals is making connections—over food. Deeply embedded in our human DNA is, hunting and gathering, meal preparation over open flames and the best part—the community gathering around a table, round, rectangular or otherwise.

A dear friend and I were chatting about how he thinks breakfast tastes better at my house, and how I think food in general tastes better as his place. I pondered this today with refrigerator door opened wide, scanning the items on the glass shelves, shrugging shoulders and uninspired. I decided to take myself out for lunch. While not the same experience as breaking bread with friends and family, dining with strangers is far more appealing than setting a place for one. At the very least, you can chat it up with the wait staff or your neighbor if seated at the bar. I looked down at the salad on my plate and thought, "I could have made this at home, I'm a good cook." Yet for "some reason" it tasted far better than I imagined my own ingredients would. What was the missing ingredient? It wasn't the salt—or pepper, it was the people!

We are by nature, communal beings, recipients of great rewards while sharing meals—beyond the mere sustenance for physical survival. There is also the survival of the soul, the ingesting of loving ingredients—shared conversation, stories, laughter, and even tears. I do my very best to be in the moment of where I am, to "Loving What Is", (Katie Byron), and at the same time feeling a void—a longing for something that is inherently natural to being human. So...pass the people please!