Divine Decades

When I first purchased my vintage Spanish Revival bungalow 10 years ago, it was a dream realized. I never dreamed however, that I would burrow-in as a single occupant for this long. Looking back, I never consciously had that as my intention—it was not my plan at all. Then there is that nagging saying, you know the one, "There is my plan, and then there is God's plan."

I wrestled with this reality for a good number of years during this past decade, coming off of an 18 year marriage and not seeing myself as one of those "single-people." I handed down a verdict of self-judgment that was reflected back by numerous people through their broken smiles uttering things like, "I can't believe you are still single!" Or, "You're so (fill in the compliment), how come you don't have a boyfriend?" 

The year 2012 brought in profound and significant losses that permeated my life, mind and heart. It paved a new road of thought and, in retrospect, became a pivotal time for the way that I would think about my world moving forward. I was still here, while others were no longer. I dug deep beneath my skin, burying my head so near to my heart, almost as if to ensure it was still beating. Grief is an odd and unpredictable station in life.

Fast forward and through most of it...grief that is, I arrived at a place of contentment. A profound sense of peace and joy with my life as it is, my place in and around it, an elevated sense of self and the release of mind as judge, jury and sentencer. Released out into a life with open hands and heart to the faith and fate of my destined journey. The mantra "Let go and let God" along with a few "Hail Mary's" and in alignment with my own acceptance, because that is the only way that miracles can get in, has brought with it a bounty of gifts that I could only experience through the light of divine connection and recognition of it as such. Oddly enough, (not really) the hand-held mirrors from other people were placed face-down. The once hard-to-hear remarks muted from outwardly conversations—and erased from my own internal struggle of a voice.

At the beginning of this year I heard Jacob Glass, a teacher of spiritual thought say "You are the glory and greatness," we all are. I scribed that on my bathroom mirror where I would see it every morning, and I would say it repeatedly to myself—no matter how hard or foreign it was to hear. It's true, it is how we were first delivered as babes unto this world and, in short order, sadly forgotten by many—and most of the time by ourselves. 

My life is and has been through a long lineage of divine decades, and this one in-the-making is proving everday to unfold more divinely than I could have ever imagined.